Simple Rules for Conversing with my Budgie.

Chook the budgie was a random purchase one day when I was in the pet shop looking for things to spoil my dogs silly with. In the “baby males” cage was this little scrap of an albino budgie, and I decided, after coffee, that he needed to come and live with me. The lady in the pet shop was thrilled and helped me sort out the cage, food and even sold me stuff I’d need, and didn’t try to sell me stuff I didn’t need. She was thrilled because apparently it’s harder to sell the whites, people want the greens and blues – typical budgie colours. She spent about an hour with me, chatting about birds. She herself has (or had, I daresay she’s gathered a few more) a collection of “NQR” budgies. These are the Not Quite Right ones that won’t sell. Birds with odd feet, or odd beaks or any other imperfection that makes them unsaleable go home with her and live a spoiled life. As a lifelong owner of reject animals, I very much liked her dedication to the odd birdies.

Anywhoo, back to Chook. Who was originally named Mojo, but Chook suited him better and he sorta kinda answers to it.  The thing about Chook is this: He is demented. Utterly and totally off his trolley. Nuts. Adorable, though.

The video there shows Chook’s one party trick – stick control. This brings us to…

Rule #1: Do not touch, handle or otherwise interfere with the seed stick.
Seriously man, it’s not worth it. For one, you will be abused by a tiny feathered ball of rage. He will be FURIOUS, hang on to the stick and either bite you or headbutt you (when he’s so cross he forgets how to bite).  The stick belongs to him, you may not have it.

Rule #2: Do not allow an empty seed stick to be empty.
I’m pretty mean in that I wait till he’s eaten ALL the seed before I replace the stick. This means that some mornings when I take the cover off his cage, I am greeted with a little cranky ball of fluff who grabs the empty stick and shakes it at me with recrimination in his little pink eyes. If a stick is not forthcoming, he will rage. This brings us to …

Rule #3: Do not laugh at tiny adorable rage.
In his head, Chook is the size of a horse and therefore his rage is neither funny or cute. You may cower suitably, but do not giggle.

Rule #4: Gifts and bribes are acceptable at all times.
Grass is always welcome, you may peg it to the perch. Thank you now bugger off.

Rule #5: Just because he’s making kissy face at you while you’re outside the cage doesn’t mean he wants to be your best friend.
Thankfully budgie bites are not painful, but while he loves everyone who passes by while they’re outside the cage, the minute they invade his space he becomes a whirling dervish of rage and biting. See Rule #3.

Usually, despite his addiction to seed sticks (he does also have ordinary seed to nom, which he enjoys) he will allow the boring empty one to be taken away and replaced with a nice new full one. As of yesterday however, he has decided all sticks must remain his. This is handy in that when I let him out for a flap around I can catch him easily by waving the empty stick at him. He’s very sweet and kissy to me most of the time.

As a note, I once went to a supermarket to get some seed sticks, and they didn’t have the right kind in stock, so I had to take a FORTY MINUTE detour on the way home to get him some. Don’t tell me I don’t spoil my animals, coz I do.