The Business of Marriage
Although we’ve no set date for the upcoming wedding thing we’re doing (twice), naturally Matt and myself are poking ideas and I don’t know about him but I’m poking the internet in new and somewhat horrifying ways.
We’re not looking at a traditional wedding dealio to be honest. For one thing, there will be no church and no religious vows. We’re both atheists, so it was never a question that walking down the church aisle wasn’t in the plan. Poor Matt is being hauled into a hippy/vintage/handmade nightmare, but stiff bikkies, I’m the bride! That’s about as Bridezilla as I’m getting, to be honest. I’m mostly “Let’s just get some people together and have a laugh”.
When you change your relationship status on Facebook, your targeted adverts change too. No longer does the advertising strip down the side of every page try and flog me dating sites (“Single? ZOMG Suck! Click here for hot matches”). For a while, when I was just “In a relationship” and the ads were mostly for unrelated things. Now Facebook knows I’m engaged, so all of the adverts are wedding related, sometimes with the most tenuous of links – wedding umbrellas anyone? I shit you not.
Now let me state it here and now, we’re not spending a bundle on the wedding. Partly because we ARE doing it twice and partly because spending $20,000 on a single day makes me say “Holy shit, no way. Get out. Go. Go”. Let me also state I am getting married in red. I’ve not found the dress yet, because I’ve not really looked to be honest, but I know it will be red. It will also probably be from a local hippy shop.
However, being curious as to what proper brides be wearing this season, I did click a facebook advert for wedding dresses. They are stunning, of course (except for the one that looks a little bit like the bride is dressing to sex up the best man. That one is less lovely) but I suddenly understand quite clearly why so many women starve themselves before the big day. One site offers a gallery of “real brides” wearing their dresses, real brides not being over size 10 clearly.
Eh, I know it’s stupid to let these things get to me, but it does bother me that big girls aren’t represented in the wedding galleries of most commercial dress makers. It also bothers me that a plain white dress that you could pick up off the rack for $150 at Myer is suddenly worth $3000 because they slap the word “Wedding” above it.
Which is partly why my lovely man is being dragged into a festival of DIY goodness. For more uplifting wedding stuff (rather than Bridezilla insane scary places on the web) I like Off Beat Bride.
I love your handmade hippyness.
Perhaps wedding umbrellas are specially designed to stave off thrown rice?
I am sure the two of you will come up with a wedding that suits you exactly right.
If you decide you want a puffy white dress, let me know. I may have one, barely used, still hanging in my closet.
Also, I couldn’t stomach offbeat bride. Too many people trying so hard to be different that they were all the same. Craftster has a wedding board though and while some of the weddings are traditional, some are very much not so and some are in between (ours was fairly traditional, except with no god and no church, oh and it didn’t cost 25k or more). Also, if you have any interest in a shawl for wearing? Let me know. I’d be happy to knit one for you, and I’m still happy to help with any paper goods needs you may end up with.
The invites are taking weird and wonderful shapes in my head, but thank you for the offer.
I like Off Beat Bride for the idea stealage. There’s weddings I think are TOO way out, but on the other hand, if it made the couple happy, who am I to judge? But yes, I mostly just borrow ideas and adapt them as needed
The potential wedding date for Scott & I is april 2011, so we have a ways to go. But… I hate to say it, I’m already in that OH GOD I NEED TO WORK OUT AND GO SEE A DERMATOLOGIST phase. At least I realize I would look ridiculous with a tan!
Look for “Offbeat Bride” online. A Google search should bring it up. And for body positivity, I believe there are fat bride groups out there too – look at how gorgeous those ladies look and you’ll feel so much better about yourself, y’know? They show that any body shape or size can be stunning on their wedding day.
Kimmers, I’m currently running this in my head “Must get lasered, must lose weight, must even skin tone must…”.
Thankfully, Matt just says “Shut up, you’re perfect” and most of the time I realise – everyone who will see me on the day has SEEN me anyways, so who cares?
I need a fat bride group. I’ll hunt one out.
Kim and I have been engaged for almost a year, and I totally understand what you mean. It’s hard to find the wedding that you want since you only get to do it once (or twice) and there’s a load of choices to look at. I’m sure you’ll find the exact wedding you’re looking for, and it’ll be great