That’s not an apology.
I’ve been pondering lately the phrase “I’m sorry if my actions/words offended anyone”. It’s a phrase used a LOT by various sportsmen here in Australia who, after being caught drinking themselves half to death then crapping in hotel hallways or vomiting on people or groping young ladies, will do a press conference and say “I’m sorry if my actions upset or offended anyone”.
Basically, it translates to “I don’t regret what I did or said, but I understand I’m in hot water over it, so sorry if you were upset. Can I go now?”. Sportsmen in this country are elevated to the status of Godlet so they can pretty much get away with it. That’s a rant for another time.
I’ve done and said a LOT of stupid and thoughtless things in my life, we all have. I’ve never said “Sorry if Iupset you”. I have said “I’m sorry I said that” or “I’m very sorry I did that”. “Sorry if” is an arrogant nothing designed to smooth the edges while looking like you actually care what’s happened or that you’ve upset or offended someone. It’s bascially a “fuck you” when you boil it right down.
It’s also becoming accepted usage, which drives me insane with anger and annoyance. You mess up, you apologise for it. You don’t dismiss the offence of other people just because you don’t see why they were offeneded. So, next time someone says “I can’t believe you did/said that!” try “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you”.
“I’m sorry I got caught”
Pretty much. “I’m sorry someone noticed I was throwing up on a puppy”
I am so glad that someone else has raised this, because it really rankles with me too. These shits behave like animals and then take absolutely no responsibility for it. Then when we tell them as a society that their behaviour is unacceptable, they give such an un-apology.
Ugh!
For the first context — I totally agree. Those in the public eye who use it as a coverall pseudo-apology are quite annoying.
However, for more personal stuff, I see it as okay. I’ve said it myself, with true intent and sincerity. I’ve said things like “I’m genuinely sorry if what I said offended you, for that was not my intent,” because that’s exactly what I mean. I may *also* be sorry to have said what I did, but first and foremost I’m sorry about the offense it caused.
Like so many things, I think it depends on the context. It’s a piss-poor catchall, though, for sure.